Anniversary

Twenty-three years ago today, Mandi and I were married.

We have come a long way…I think…

We have been through a lot together, and we’ve put each other through a lot.

Marriage is not for the faint of heart. I have been told by some that marriage is war; by others that it is a sentence of death. “A man isn’t complete,” they say, “until he’s married. Then he’s finished!” One guy told me “marriage is like a bathtub—once you’re in it for a while, it’s not so hot.” Another person told me that marriage was nature’s way of keeping people from fighting with strangers.

Despite these negative views of matrimony, Mandi and I have not only survived, but still enjoy being with each other. “How do you do that?” people ask us. “What is the secret to having a successful marriage?”

I don’t think there is any one “secret.” At least, I cannot yet summarize things that concisely. But one of the things I have been learning over the last twenty-three years is how important it is to not let the good times make me think that all the challenges of marriage are all behind me. Not that we go looking for them. After all, challenges seem to find us whether we are looking for them or not!

The reality is, if I want our love and commitment to each other and for each other to grow deeper, reach higher, bloom brighter, and produce sweeter fruit, unavoidable ingredients in that recipe are challenges, headaches, heartaches, problems, and difficulties. I’ll admit I don’t like it when they come, but I love the way God takes these things that look like they are going to break us down and use them to build us up.

So here’s to the first twenty-three years, and to the next twenty-three.