So a bit over a week ago, I got a call from my wife Mandi all in tears. She was let go by her employer. She loved what she was doing and the people she was working with. I don’t need to go into the details, but she is not being replaced, her position was cut. It was a real shock to her (and to me too to be honest). We are very much a two income family, and we knew that if she didn’t get work asap we would be in big trouble.
Like you would expect, she was wracking her brain trying to figure out what happened: Did she do something wrong? What could she have done differently? Why would God take away a job that she loved and that fulfilled her so much? Yet I could not help thinking that God had pulled her away from that work for something else that He needed her doing more.
That night, she called her parents to tell them what was going on. As the conversation progressed, they began batting around the idea of hiring her as a CNA for themselves. Her mom has advanced Parkinson’s and her dad is recovering from a mild stroke. They had been paying for 24/7 help through a home health aid service. By the end of the next day, it have been worked out that she would work full time for them. Now she is getting more time with her parents and getting to care for them when they need it most which she has wanted to do and is making the same money she was at her previous job. They feel much more comfortable with Mandi doing all the personal things that need done, she is qualified to do more as a CNA than the home health aids were able to do, and because she is private, they are saving a lot of money and helping us out at the same time which they have wanted to do. It is a big win-win.
We have been learning the importance of looking at events like Mandi losing her job, or water damage from a broken pipe, or not knowing how the bills are going to get paid this month through the lens of faith. I’m not talking a blind irrational kind of faith. I’m talking about faith that God will do what you cannot, that He will provide what you cannot, that He will get you to where He wants you to be when you have no way there. We have been learning that these lessons never get learned. They are not things we mater and move on from. Rather they are lessons that get taken to new and deeper levels throughout your life. At least, that is what I have been learning. Perhaps you have too.
This is what the LORD says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,
who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland
(Isaiah 43:16-19, NIV).
I have been learning that grace allows you to walk away from the things in our past that kept us from moving forward or in the right direction. But grace is not content to leave us where we are. God’s grace not only meets us where we are but leads us to where He is. It moves us to follow Him. While Grace frees us from the pain of the past and the pain of our brokenness, it is not always comfortable following Jesus where he leads. It’s always challenging to change. Sure some changes we are more than happy to make, but other changes can be daunting, anxiety producing, and some are downright scary. Living in the faith of grace is not easy. The challenges us to change how we think about things. It challenges us to let go of things that maybe we don’t really want to let go of. The challenges us to lay hold of things and to move and directions that we’re not really sure we want to move in or grab hold of. It is a hard thing to be learning that we are not enough. But the good news is, wants God’s Grace has a hold on you, He doesn’t ever let go. So much like being on a roller coaster that’s traveling 75 or 80 miles an hour going around all these curves and loops and dives it makes you wonder if you’re safe, God’s grace can be a wild ride too. But grace always keeps you safe. You’re never out of the hands of the God who loves you and is bringing you to Himself.
That wily and sarcastically suave powerhouse of wit and wisdom, Insanitybytes, recently declared that I should not expect a visit from her anytime soon. Whether this is because of the inane amounts of snow that we have had in the last week or because of the wackiness that is my life right now, I am not totally certain.
It’s true, things have been crazy around here for a while. Hectic enough to keep me from keeping to my regular posting schedule. But God is keeping me learning that while I am not enough, He is enough.
Case in point: One of the ways God has been providing for us is through doing pulpit supply at local churches. I was scheduled to preach at a local church this Sunday. I was really looking forward to it, and (honestly) had worked it into my budget. Because of several storms we had over the week, the pastor’s trip needed to be postponed. The good news was I was available to cover when they need me in April, but the bad news was I could no longer count on the income. While I was praying and giving the need over to God, Saturday afternoon, I got a call from another local church that a guest pastor from out of town they had scheduled to come and preach could not get there because of the storm we have been having last night and today. Because the one was rescheduled, I was available to help this other church today. God provided what we needed in the way He has been using but with a new twist in how it came about.
In the end, my trust in God has increased and I am feeling a bit less awkward about the length of time God has had my feet planted in midair. I am smiling at how easily God can turn things around. We need to keep that in mind when things look like things, blessings, provisions, or opportunities seem to be taken away, it may well be because He is rearranging them for us, and not simply taking them away.
The more I simply focus on doing what God wants me doing right now, the more I am learning that God is at work to make sure things I will need tomorrow will be there when they need to be.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:33-34, NIV).
You know you live in New England when its a freakish snow and ice storm on Tuesday, close to 60 and sunny on Wednesday, and 23 and a Northeaster dropping a foot of snow today. That’s life in New England. It takes commitment to live here… or resignation. Commitment if you are going to be happy.
Life, I have been learning, is very much like New England weather: as in it is rather unpredictable. That doesn’t change when you become a Christian. Heck, in some ways life becomes even more unpredictable!
I have been learning that while God doesn’t change, He is unpredictable… or maybe it is more theologically pc to say He appears to be unpredictable. He wasn’t kidding when he said to Isaiah,
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV).
He doesn’t seem to go about bringing about the blessings He promises the way we think. Growing our faith comes through adversity. Growing our love comes from experiences that tests its limits. Growing trust in God comes from being in seemingly impossible situations where you have no way out but God. Sure, sometimes it is very clear what God is doing and where He is taking you. Other times, it is just as impossible to see as it is for me to see the other side of the street right now because of the blowing snow. Sometimes His presence is as clear and warm as a summer day, other times He is quiet and things seem as cold and dark as a long winter’s night. And like New England weather, these times can come and go quickly, rapidly, and certainly unexpectedly.
If that is your experience, you’re not nuts, or crazy, or unique. You are living the normal Christian life.
As Pharaoh approached, the people of Israel looked up and panicked when they saw the Egyptians overtaking them. They cried out to the LORD, and they said to Moses, “Why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness? Weren’t there enough graves for us in Egypt? What have you done to us? Why did you make us leave Egypt? Didn’t we tell you this would happen while we were still in Egypt? We said, ‘Leave us alone! Let us be slaves to the Egyptians. It’s better to be a slave in Egypt than a corpse in the wilderness!'” (Exodus 14:10-12, NLT).
I hate winter. I have made so secret about that. Bad things happen in winter. I mean just yesterday there were three accidents right outside the shop where I work. The third was more surprising. I got a call from a customer that had just left asking if I knew that a car had crashed into our building. I hadn’t heard anything (no one else had either) but I went to the front door to check anyway. I was not expecting what I saw.
Things that make you go “hmmm.”
How does that happen without making any noise?
Business was slow enough with the weather. Having a car in the entry way didn’t help that.
Sometimes life is like that isn’t it? Sometimes things come quietly crashing into our life. We may not even hear it happen. All the sudden we look up and realize things are a mess. Maybe you had something to do wit it, or maybe it just happened.
Times like these have a tendency to highlight our weakness don’t they? We get afraid, we doubt, we question ourselves, we wonder how things will ever get fixed. We wonder how we could have been so blind or stupid or careless or clueless or unlucky.
Please tell me I am not the only person who has felt that way? You know what I’m talking about right?
I have been learning that these are the times when God is working deep in our souls doing work that only He can do. He seems absent, quiet, and unconcerned. But the reality is that He is working where you can’t see. The frustrating thing is that we can’t see what He is doing, it certainly doesn’t feel good, and there are no clear explanations given. That makes these times hard. We want to know what God is doing, why He allows things, why He doesn’t remove things, and what He hopes to gain.
I’m sure that is what the Israelites were thinking in that passage. They though they were free, but now they seemed trapped with no way out. There was no where to run. They couldn’t fight their way out. What was the point of getting out of Egypt if they were just going to be slaughtered by Pharaoh’s army?
In these times our work is to let Him work. And that’s work! It takes work to trust, to wait, to sit still.
I am reminded of a time when my daughter Rachel needed stitches in her lip. She was jumping around the living room and slipped and fell into the coffee table. She was two at the time. She was hysterical. When we were in the emergency room getting her stitches, she needed to be held down on the table and her head held still. The doctor and nurses were great. They were very kind. She got some good drugs to numb the pain. But it did not look kind, or feel like she was being helped. To her, she was restrained on a table while a stranger suck her lip with a shot of Novocain and then took a needle and thread to her face. To her God was gone and her parents weren’t helping. To us, we were doing everything we needed to in order to heal her.
We don’t really perceive how we are changing or growing in these times. It isn’t until they are over that we begin to see the fruits of what was done. Are we willing to do the work of resting in God’s hands and trusting in His love and care for us?