Ahh Birthdays….

There is nothing quite like starting your birthday with an early appointment to get the latest neuro-psych results for your daughter. Needless to say we have a lot to think about regarding the next steps we take as we walk with her down the road of learning to live with NLD (Nonverbal Learning Disorder) and bipolar disorder.

When we get tough news like this, or experience problems, challenges, and heartaches, it seems (if you are anything like me at least) that our default response is to assume that we somehow got outside of God’s will. We have this idea that if we are faithful (or at least doing our best to be faithful) that things will go well with us.

I have been learning that this is not necessarily the case. Case in point—Job did not do anything that came back to bite him in losing his children, possessions, and personal health. His struggles were not brought on by failing to live for God but because he was doing such a good job at living for God!

Sometimes we get so caught up in our circumstances that we miss the work that God is doing in them. After all, the gospel is all about restoring what is broken. We all love the restoration part, but to get to that, to see that, to experience that, we have to own our brokenness and be willing to live in the brokenness of others.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our circumstances that we never stop to think that we may be under spiritual attack. This was the case with Job was it not? Satan was out to destroy him. That hasn’t changed. As Peter says in 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV), Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

I am humbled that God would give us the gift and privilege of caring for His little Anna. He knew what she would need and put her in our care. That is the way I look at this. She is not a burden to be born, but a gift to be embraced. Does that mean Mandi and I are jumping through the tulips singing Kumba Ya? Nope. Our hearts are heavy, our spirits worn, and our minds perplexed. But (and you knew this was coming) we are not supposed to be enough for her. That is God’s job. Through her, God is teaching us what it means to be learning to live by faith, to love unconditionally, to sacrifice joyfully, to forgive freely, to wait patiently, and to trust expectantly. Dirt is nasty. But God is making great things grow out of it. We are learning to focus on what God is doing and not the well fertilized stuff that He is doing it in.