Discipleship is Relational (Part 1)

This summer the focus of my posts has been on discipleship. Being a disciple of Jesus is encapsulated in these three things: loving God, loving others (the Great Commandment), and making disciples (the Great Commission). They constitute the DNA, the “irreducible core” of Christianity. You can do more than those things and be a Christian disciple but you cannot do less than those three things.

Being a Christian Disciple starts with illumination from the Holy Spirt by which we see the loveliness of God and His love for us in Jesus that moves us to love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind.

That illumination leads to and assumes incarnation. As the Father’s love was incarnated in Jesus, Jesus wants to see His love incarnated through us to one another. Love for God always leads to loving our neighbor as ourselves.

Incarnation naturally moves to impartation. Discipleship is learning Jesus’ way of life to become like Him. But it doesn’t stop there. Discipleship is helping others learn His way of life so they can also become like Him and help others do the same.

Having looked at what a disciple is we started looking at what discipleship is. So far I have talked about how discipleship is….

…A way of life.

…intentional.

This week we are going to be talking about the elephant in the room when it comes to discipleship. It is the thing that we all know is there, but are afraid to talk about. The thing that makes discipleship so scary. And that is that discipleship is…relational.

You can’t do discipleship without being in relationship with people. Being in relationship with people is not always easy is it? For many of us it is hard. Now I am not talking about being nice, or friendly…I am talking about being friends with people. I’m talking about getting to a place of trust where you can be honest and open with each other.

There is a scene from the movie Catching Fire that illustrates this really well. It involves the two main characters Katniss and Peeta. They had survived a ruthless gladiator-like competition called the Hunger Games by pretending to be in love. Having won the games they are beginning a national tour in which they need to continue the ruse that they are a couple. This is complicated by the fact that Katniss in real life is not very good at being friendly, let alone being friends, so things are very awkward to say the least.

In this scene Peeta who is very good at relationships, attempts to teach Katniss friendship 101. Let’s take a look.

Friendship entails…

Getting to know one another.

It means sharing “the deep stuff.”

It means opening up to one another.

Did you notice that Peeta incarnated that for her before he explained it? He showed her what friendship looked like, then told her what friendship looked like.

This is where discipleship starts. It starts in relationship, in friendship with one another. We might like to think that discipleship can be done drive-by style, with as little relational commitment and sharing of “the deep stuff” as possible, but the reality is discipleship is very personal. And by “personal” I don’t mean “private,” I mean it is the opposite of impersonal.

2 Corinthians 12:14-18 (NIV) is a clear example of this.

Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well. If I love you more, will you love me less? Be that as it may, I have not been a burden to you. Yet, crafty fellow that I am, I caught you by trickery! Did I exploit you through any of the men I sent to you? I urged Titus to go to you and I sent our brother with him. Titus did not exploit you, did he? Did we not walk in the same footsteps by the same Spirit?

If you read through Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians two things become very clear: First that the church in Corinth was having long term struggles that moved Paul to say things like,

2 Corinthians 11:3 (NIV), I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

2 Corinthians 12:20-21 (NIV), I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be… I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged.

And second, Paul’s great love and affection for them.

2 Corinthians 7:7 (NIV), [Titus] told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever.

2 Corinthians 7:4 (NIV), I take great pride in you.

2 Corinthians 11:2 (NIV), I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy.

This personal, i.e. intimate language, this parental tone and concern is present throughout the whole letter. It clearly shows Paul not only knows of them but he knows them. Paul clearly sees them as his children and himself as their spiritual father.

Paul had not only visited them once, but twice and was planning a third visit. He keeps going back. His letters are not enough. It is not a one-and-done or simply hearing the truth about Jesus Christ that Paul is emulating. He is committed to them. In spite of their problems, in spite of their continually being caught up with false teaching, he is committed to them. For now he is sending Titus to them who has the same love and concern for them (2 Corinthians 8:16). They not only needed to hear that Paul and Titus loved them, they needed to see it.

A few weeks ago we looked at 1Thessalonians 2:8 (NIV), Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. That same thought is given here in 2 Corinthians 12:15 (NIV), So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well. And back in 2 Corinthians 7:3 (NIV), I have said before that you have such a place in our hearts that we would live or die with you.

As his love for them is given, he expects it to be given back. 2 Corinthians 12:15 (NIV), If I love you more, will you love me less? Back in 2 Corinthians 6:11 (NIV) Paul says virtually the same thing, We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.

Why did Paul keep putting so much time and effort into the Corinthian church? Why didn’t he just move on in the face of so many problems, headaches, and heartaches? Why did he—time and time again—take the time to explain why they should hold to his yoke and way of life instead of these others being offered by people who were so clearly trying to take advantage of them?

I submit it was because Paul really, deeply, truly loved them. He had so personally invested himself in them, with them, and for them, that he could not—indeed would not—let them go. His gospel and his discipleship of the people of Corinth was no casual relationship for the sake of delivering the gospel. It was part of it. As loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind and loving your neighbor as yourself are not two but one commandment, the gospel preached and the love it calls us to live out with our neighbors are also one.