Holy Fertilizer Batman!

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:6-7, NIV).

A couple of months ago I was stopped by a policeman on the way home who informed me that my license had been suspended. Apparently I had a ticket that had gone unpaid. I immediately looked into it, realized what had happened and paid the ticket and the fine to get my license reinstated. Because driving with a suspended license is a criminal offense, I went to court and they were gracious and dropped the criminal offense because I had not been informed of the suspension. I later found out that while my criminal record was clean, the Registry of Motor Vehicles was still holding me responsible, and so on the 4^th of July I entered a mandatory 60 day suspension of my license. That is going to make pastoring difficult to say the least.

I just finished writing a funeral message for the grandfather of one of my best friends.

I just got a text that my wife is taking my oldest daughter to a mobile crisis unit.

That is on top off having another daughter who just got out of the hospital, dealing with transitioning out of the senior pastor at my church and what that means for me and my family’s future, trying to find time to work on my PhD thesis, and helping my wife through grieving the loss of one of the two people that she cares for as a private CNA.

Sometimes the hits just keep coming no matter how hard you pray for them to stop. Have you ever felt like that? What does it mean? What is the point? What are you supposed to do when nothing you do seems to lead to relief?

I don’t presume to know enough to tell you what you should do. But I will tell you what I do.

1. Pray. I pray that God will help me to accept these circumstances that I cannot change. I pray that He gives me the faith to trust that He knows what He is doing even when I do not understand what He is doing. God does some of His best work in the dark, and I know that He never leaves me alone. I may feel alone, but I am never alone.
2. Read and listen to Scripture. It doesn’t take long before you realize that many of the people whose history is recorded for us in Scripture felt the same way. And you see how God cared for them and helped them and walked with them, often in unexpected ways. That reminds you that God is able to do the same with you.
3. I need to let God work. Sometimes we are asked to do a lot. Sometimes He puts us in the position where we need to sit and be still. When all I can do is wait, I need to remember that this is not doing nothing, it is doing what God wants.
4. I work on being thankful. While all this stuff is heavy, messy, and confusing, God is still providing and sustaining me. I need to be conscious of that. It is easy when we are going through hard times to focus so much on our troubles that we miss the blessings that we have and that continue to come around us.
5. Resist the temptation to isolate. Separate. Isolate. Divide. That is the Devil’s game plan. I make a conscious effort to let my friends know what is going on and to pray for me; and accept help from them when they offer.
6. I take down my Fénelon and read some of his letters. Everyone needs a little Fenelon. Letters 2, 8, and 16 are go-tos for me. And I read the November 5^th entry of My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers…especially the first sentence:

   If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a multitude of experiences that aren’t meant for you at all, they are meant to make you useful in His hands and to enable you to understand what takes place in the lives of others.

I have been through enough to know that God can always be trusted. He always comes through. His promises are not just words they are truths I have experienced. So as I sit here in my quasi-house arrest, I continue to be learning to do the work of waiting for God to do the work…and start to feel a bit lighter.