One of the things that Jonathan Edwards is so revered for are his 70 resolutions. They show the seriousness and tenacity of his endeavor to live fully for God by Christ. They make for an impressive list of values that he strove to live by. They are even more impressive when you consider that he wrote the final 70th resolution when he was still nineteen!
For example, on January 12-13, 1723, he wrote his 45th resolution.
45. Resolved, never to allow any pleasure or grief, joy or sorrow, nor any affection at all, nor any degree of affection, nor any circumstance relating to it, but what helps religion (Letters and Personal Writings, page 756).
Impressive. But Edwards was no “super Christian.” He struggled to keep his resolutions. They described his goals, values, and aspirations, not who he consistently was. One of the things that was a constant struggle throughout his life was depression (back then it was called “melancholy”). Take a look at his diary the week after he wrote this resolution.
Jan. 13, [1723] sabbath day. I plainly feel, that if I should continue to go on, as from the beginning of the last week hitherto, I should continually grow and increase in grace. After the afternoon meeting, made an addition to the 45th Resolution. At noon; I remember I thought I loved to be a member of Christ, nor anything distinct, but only a part, so as to have no separate interest, or pleasure of my own. At night, resolved to endeavor fully to understand 1 Corinthians 7:29-32, and to act according to it.
Monday, Jan. 14. About ten o’clock in the morning, made this book, and put these papers in it.3 The dedication I made of myself to my God, on Saturday last, has been exceeding useful to me. I thought I had a more spiritual insight into the Scriptures, when reading the 8th [chapter] of Romans, than ever before.
At night. Great instances of mortification are deep wounds given to the body of sin, hard blows that make him stagger and reel: we thereby get great ground and footing against him, and he is the weaker ever after. And we have easier work with him the next time. He grows cowardly; and we can easily cause him to give way, until at length, we find it easy work with him, and can kill him at pleasure. While we live without great instances of mortification and self-denial, the old man keeps whereabouts he was; for he is sturdy and obstinate, and will not stir for small blows. And this, without doubt, is one great reason why many Christians do not sensibly increase in grace. After the greatest mortifications, I always find the greatest comfort. Wrote the 63rd Resolution. Such little things as Christians commonly do, will not show increase of grace much. We must do great things for God. It will be best, when I find I have lost any former, ancient, good motions or actions, to take notice of it, if I can remember them.
Supposing there was never but one complete Christian, in all respects of a right stamp, having Christianity shining in its true luster, at a time in the world; resolved to act just as I would do, if I strove with all my might to be that one, that should be in my time.
Jan. 15, Tuesday, about two or three of clock. I have been all this day decaying. It seemed yesterday, the day before and Saturday, that I should always retain the same resolution to the same height. But alas! how soon do I decay. O how weak, how infirm, how unable to do anything of myself. What a poor, inconsistent being! What a miserable wretch, without the assistance of God’s Spirit. While I stand, I am ready to think I stand by my own strength, and upon my own legs; and I am ready to triumph over my (spiritual) enemies, as if it were I myself that caused them to flee. When alas, I am but a poor infant, upheld by Jesus Christ; who holds me up, and gives me liberty to smile to see my enemies flee, when he drives them before me; and so I laugh, as if I myself did it, when it is only Jesus Christ leads me along, and fights himself against my enemies. And now, the Lord has a little left me; how weak do I find myself. O let it teach me to depend less on myself, to be more humble, and to give more of the praise of my ability to Jesus Christ. The heart of man is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it? [Jeremiah 17:9].
The occasion of my decaying, is a little melancholy. My spirits are down, and I am concerned because I fear I lost some friendship the last night. And my spirits being low, my resolutions have lost their strength. I differ today from yesterday, in these things. I do not resolve anything today, half so strongly. I am not so perpetually thinking on and renewing my resolutions, as I was then. I am not half so vigorous as I was then; nor am I half so careful to do everything with vigor. Then, I kept continually acting; but now, I do things slowly, and satisfy myself by thinking of religion in the meantime. I am not so careful to go quick from one business to another. I felt humiliation, about sunset. What shall I do frequently, with a good grace, to fall into Christian discourse and conference? [[At night.]] The next time I am in such a lifeless frame, I will force myself to go quick from one thing to another, and do those things with vigor, in which vigor would ever be useful. The things, which take off my mind, when bent on religion, are commonly some remarkable change and alteration: journeys, change of place, change of business, change of studies, and change of other circumstances; or something that makes me melancholy; or some sin.
Jan. 17, Thursday. About three o’clock, overwhelmed with melancholy.
Jan. 18, Friday. At night. Beginning to endeavor to recover out of the death I have been in for these several days.
Jan. 20, sabbath day. At night. The last week I was sunk so low, that I fear it will be a long time, ‘ere I shall be recovered. I fell exceedingly low in the weekly account. I find my heart so deceitful, that I am almost discouraged from making any more resolutions. Wherein have I been negligent in the week past; and how could I have done better, to help the dreadful, low estate in which I am sunk?
Why do I bring this up? Because it is just as important to be honest and open about the things we struggle with in the Christian life as it to know what it means to live the Christian life. Martin Luther, Edwards, and Charles Spurgeon (dubbed “the prince of preachers”) were all giants in the Christian faith, and all struggled with depression. Having one does not disqualify you from being the other. That is important to know.
You can read Edwards’ personal diary in its entirety at the Jonathan Edwards Center website at www.edwards.yale.edu. This selection is from Letters and Personal Writings, ed. George S. Claghorn, The Works of Jonathan Edwards, vol. 16 (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1998) pages 764-765.
Learning To Be Full Of Grace And Truth. 
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