Lessons from My Girls

My mentor Charlie “Tremendous” Jones said that he believed that God doesn’t give you kids so you can teach them, He gives them so they can teach you. I remember laughing when I first heard him say that…then I had kids of my own and found out that he wasn’t joking. There is a lot of truth to that statement.

I have two kids who God has been using to teach me a lot lately. One is one of my own kids, Anna, the other is Michelle who is a “spiritual daughter” of mine. They are similar in a lot of ways. They have similar builds physically, they are both extremely intelligent, and they are both very creative; they have similar personalities too being very spiritual, compassionate, and helpful. They also both struggle with depression and anxiety, both have struggled with the Dark of suicidal thoughts and have had seasons when they needed extended treatment for the same (and just so you know, I have Michelle’s permission and Anna’s ok to share these things).

A month ago, Michelle attempted to take her life. Fortunately, Michelle was not alone. Her girlfriend Sarah was in the next room. Sarah was woken from a sound sleep by a hand shaking her awake (there was no one in the room) and hearing Jesus say to her, “Get up! Go find Michelle, she needs you!” She did. Sarah is a nurse and did everything right (Sarah and I are in regular contact about Michelle and she now holds a special place in my heart). The incredibly short story is that since that time Michelle has been in the hospital since that night. To make matters more complicated this happened when she was away in Hawaii and that is where she currently is still, and will be for some time. I wrote about this in my post Lessons from The Dark Knight Rises. My family I had plans to get together with Michelle while we were on vacation in Florida, but those plans were nixed because of her continuing treatment in Hawaii.

Yesterday, my Anna had another trip to the ER. The whole day yesterday, I could see things going downhill with Anna, but I was not ready for the total meltdown she had. The Dark came back over her face. I could see it in her eyes. Talk of death, hating everyone, scratching herself, physically flipping around like a fish out of water. I prayed over her and the Dark fled hearing Jesus’ name. She slowly wound down after that. In the end she was hugging me tight while I told her I loved her and continued to pray.

After spending the night in the ER, they sent her home, seeing that she had calmed down and she said she felt she would be safe at home. In the end, this reinforces what we already knew: that even though she has been doing very well the last few months, Anna’s state is still very fragile and there is a long road ahead; both for her and for us.

I think one of the reasons God brought Michelle into my life was to help me be a better father to Anna…and on further reflection, so I could be a better spiritual father to Michelle.

Paul said something along the same lines that compliments this (or, more accurately, that is the foundation of that truth) in 2 Corinthians 1:3 (NLT),

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

I am reminded again of one of my favorite quotes from Oswald Chambers in his devotional My Utmost for His Highest. It is the first sentence of the November 5^th reading.

If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a number of experiences that are not meant for you personally at all. They are designed to make you useful in His hands, and to enable you to understand what takes place in the lives of others. Because of this process, you will never be surprised by what comes your way.

Going back to the beginning, I think you could combine Chambers and Jones like this:

If you are going to be used by God, He will make you parents of children biologically or spiritually or both, who will take you through a number of experiences that are designed to make you see what it is like for God to be your Father, and to enable you to understand what takes place in the lives of others. Because of this process, you will never be surprised by what comes your way, and you will be able to clearly reflect the Father’s love to them as a father or mother no matter what the circumstance.