Who Are You Walking With?

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm (Proverbs 13:20, NIV).

Charlie “Tremendous” Jones put his own humorous twist on this verse when he said, “You will be the same person you are today five years from now except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read. Hang around thinkers and you’ll be a better thinker. Hang around lovers and you’ll be a better lover. Hang around givers and you’ll be a better giver. Hang around a bunch of thumb-sucking, complaining, griping boneheads, and you be a better thumb-sucking, complaining, griping bonehead.”

One of the things I have been learning is that whether we like it or not, whether we admit it or not, people rub off on you. The more time you spend with a person the more they will rub off on you, and the more you will rub off on them. If you tell me about the five people you spend the most time with, I will have a pretty good idea about how you think, act, relate to people, and respond to difficulty. It’s not that I have some creepy mutant-like ability, that’s just how life works. We become like the people we love. It’s not something that you even have to be conscious of, it just happens, it happens naturally; it’s part of our nature to take on the characteristics of the people we spend most of our time with, for better or for worse.

For instance, if I spend most of my time with people who respond to difficulty by drinking, chances are I will too. If I spend most of my time with people who are negative and critical of others, chances are I will become more negative and critical of others. If I spend most of my time with people who have a strong faith and trust in God, chances are I will develop a strong faith and trust in God too. If I spend most of my time with people who have good financial sense, chances are I will grow good financial sense. It works both ways; and because it works both ways we should be mindful of who we spend our time with, because you will be the same person you are today in five years except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read.

The good news is that if you feel that you need to change some things in your life, the answer is simple (not necessarily easy but simple), change the people you spend most of your time with and change the types of books you read (or start reading, and read good books).

It is not always easy to quickly change who we spend our time with, but we can start making an impact right away by reading books by wise people. What books you ask? Here are some of the books that have made a great impact on me and helped me to grow in wisdom as a husband, father, a pastor, and as a Christian.

Life Is Tremendous, by Charlie “Tremendous” Jones. This little book is chuck-full of wisdom for living, relating, and working. Charlie was inducted into the National Speakers Association as one of the top speakers in the twentieth century. He went home to be with the Lord in 2008, but you can still meet him and learn from him in his books. In addition to his books, many of his talks are available as video and audio at www.tremendouslifebooks.com and on YouTube.

Desiring God, by John Piper. This is a deep and profound book that helped me build a deep and biblically grounded faith. The central message of the book is that God is most satisfied in us when we are most satisfied in Him. Every Christian should read this book.

Let Go, by Francis Fenelon. Another book I think every Christian should read. This little book of letters that Fenelon wrote to men and women whom he was discipling, many of whom were going through difficult times, has been priceless to me. I have posted several of the letters from this book on my blog. I have given away more copies of this book than I can count. I cannot recommend it highly enough. My favorite edition of Let Go is the 1974 edition by Whitaker House Publishing. It’s about $5.00, get this book. It will be the best $5.00 you ever spent.

Lead like Jesus, by Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges. This is simply the best book on leadership I have ever read. Don’t see yourself as a leader? Are you a parent or grandparent? Are you a coach? Are you a teacher or Sunday School teacher? Do you ever try and influence anybody? Then you are a leader, and you need this book.

Pick one, any one of these books and start reading. They are all available in the Living Grace and Truth store as well as on Amazon and though any book store. If you would like a recommendation for a good book in addition to these, leave me a comment and I will suggest some titles for you.