Forgiveness Is Given, not Demanded

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast(Ephesians 2:8-9, NIV).

Forgiveness is an act of grace. Grace is getting something you don’t deserve. By its very definition God’s grace is never deserved. You cannot earn grace. Earned grace is a contradiction in terms. That’s tantamount to saying a bachelor is a married man. Grace is always a free gift. It can only be accepted.

Because forgiveness is an act of grace, it can only be given and accepted as a gift. It can’t be earned, or demanded. When people are genuinely repentant and ask for forgiveness it may make it easier for us to offer the gift of forgiveness, but their doing so does not change the fact that it is still a gift.

When we sin against one another what we earn is guilt, not only in the eyes of the person we hurt but in the eyes of God as well who does not let any sin go unpunished. To remove that guilt, to wipe that slate clean is a gift; a gift given at great cost by the offended person and God as we talked about yesterday.

One of the common challenges many Christians struggle with today is the desire to pursue holiness without at the same time growing in grace. Until someone confesses we will not forgive. “They need to earn it!” we say. When we take this attitude we are denying one of the most powerful effects of grace on other people. Sometimes we get so caught up in being righteous—or being right—that we end up rubbing other people’s faces in it.

Without the confession of guilt, the offender will not receive the healing benefits of forgiveness. That is true and there is no denying it. However there is good reason to believe the forgiver receives the healing benefits of forgiveness whether the offender is remorseful or not. God did not wait for us to repent before He sent His Son to the cross but “showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8). God did not wait for us to repent before He sent Jesus to the cross. God did that first. As Christians living for God through Christ, we should be willing to do the same. Our striving for moral excellence should make us free in offering forgiveness, not impede our giving it.