Forgiveness Isn’t Cheap

When we forgive someone, we are choosing to see the offender through the cross, the way the Father sees you and me. It means accepting that God saw your hurt, no matter how small or how great, passed judgment on it, and laid his just and holy anger in full on Christ against it. We can let go of our hurt, anger, even hate because God does not let sin go unpunished. Either Christ paid it, or the offender will if they remain outside of Christ.

For the Father to forgive us, it cost the life of His Son. God’s grace did not come cheap. But just because Jesus bore the punishment for the sins of His people, it does not follow that there is no cost to us when we forgive someone. There is no such thing as cheap grace. Forgiveness always costs the person doing the forgiving. It is true for God, and true for you and me.

When we forgive someone we are not paying the price for their sin, Jesus took care of that. So what is the cost?

The cost is being willing to accept God’s punishment of the offender’s sin at the cross. The Father was willing to let Christ be a substitute for you, but are you willing to let Jesus be the substitute for the person who hurt you? That is not always easy. The greater the offense, the greater the cost. Because of that, forgiveness can be very hard, sometimes it may seem next impossible, even unimaginable.

Doing that is not intuitive. It is not natural. It is supernatural. We need God working in us, empowering us to do that or we never will. If you are struggling with forgiveness, you need to know that it can be a struggle.

Another reason forgiveness is not cheap is because even when we do forgive, our emotions—our shame, grief, anger, even hate—that tell us we have been wronged, often do not just “turn off.” Forgiveness mortally wounds them, but I have been learning that they often limp on. Being willing to live with that as God brings healing to us, while at the same time no longer holding the offense over the offender’s head can cost a lot of spiritual, emotional, and mental energy. In that way too forgiveness can be an enormous drain.

But while forgiveness is costly, it does not disappoint! God does His best work in us when we forgive. We are allowing God to be God in letting Him be Judge. We become more like Him when we do, working with Him in bringing grace and mercy to another. We begin the process of freeing ourselves from pain and anger when we do, and we set the offender free of guilt when we do.

Forgiveness isn’t ever cheap. But it is always worth the price.