Right Theology Should Not Get In The Way of Love

Yesterday I was talking with a friend of mine and fellow blogger, Michelle. During our conversation we started looking back at emails we had exchanged a couple months ago that marked the beginning of our friendship. In her original email she shared some very painful stuff with me, how when she was 14 she had been brutally raped, and not long after had attempted suicide, and had been struggling with an addiction to cutting ever since. In my response to that initial email I wrote, “If through prayer, encouragement, conversation, or any other way, I can come alongside you as you walk this valley, I will.”

That was nine weeks ago. We have been in regular conversation since.

“I have made good on that promise,” I said.

To which Michelle responded, “I actually had little doubt of your word. I accept most people as basically honest. I like to see the best in people not the worst, because if I focus on the worst, well, I actually know what the worst is for people. The worst paralyzed me inside. If I stayed on that I wouldn’t be here today.”

Really? After all that, she looks for the good and not the bad? Wow!

I have been ruminating on her response. Two thoughts keep coming to mind:

First, it seemed a great example of Philippians 4:8 (NIV), Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Would that more of us actually followed Paul’s direction.

Second, it made me think how rare this attitude is in the church today. In the Reformed tradition of which I am a part, we focus a lot on the fact that sin has left us ruined. We people are basically bad, not basically good. Don’t be surprised when people say dumb, stupid, or hurtful things. Don’t wonder what is wrong when relationships fail, friends bail, and brother betrays brother. It is who we are. It is our nature.

I am a believer in original sin, that to sin is our nature, and therefore “original” to us. It is nature, not nurture.

At the same time I believe that All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17, NIV).

And therefore I believe that Jesus was serious when He said, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV).

And I believe Paul when he said that Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV).

Can you truly love one another the way God teaches in Scripture with a filter that is focused on the fact that people are going to intentionally or unintentionally screw you over? I don’t think so.

Why does God love us? God does not love us because of what we do. How could He? Sin taints everything we do. He did not love us enough to send Jesus to save us because of our potential. He loves us because He made us for Himself.

When I tuck my girls in at night, I have been known to ask them, “Do you know why your daddy loves you?”

They know the answer. They smile back at me and say, “Because God made me.”

“That’s right,” I say, “and since I love you because God made you and gave you to me, nothing you ever do will make me stop loving you. Because nothing you do can change the fact that God made you and gave you to me.”

When you are loving others for who they are, people created by God in His image or as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, it is my contention that you will be drawn to think of them in light of Philippians 4:8, and to love them in light of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. For as Peter says, Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8, NIV).