Grace in a Dark Place, Part 4

Sometimes, for reasons we don’t understand, or for seasons that we think go on way too long, God puts His children in dark places. What I have been learning is that we should not jump to the conclusion that we have been brought into the dark because we did something wrong, or because we are on God’s bad list. The truth is, it is often because God wants us to be His light in that dark place. He wants us to incarnate His grace where there is none.

That brings us to the third question: How do we nurture that light when our family is not able to?

1. This reality highlights the wisdom of God in giving us a spiritual family. Specifically it highlights the importance of having spiritual mothers and fathers. When home is not a place where we can be nurtured and grown and taught and encouraged as God’s sons and daughters, we need to be living in relationship as sons and daughters to godly men and women who can provide the spiritual parenting we need.

   This is the kind of relationship Mandi and I have with our friend Shelby. Now she would be the first to tell you that we have not replaced her parents. She loves her mom and dad very much; and so do Mandi and I. But Shelby looks at us as spiritual parents. She looks to us for spiritual guidance, how to understand Scripture, how to live it out at school, at work, in her relationships. Shelby is not in a unique situation. All of us need spiritual moms and dads. In the best of all possible worlds our natural parents and our spiritual parents would be one and the same. But we all need to be in relationships as sons and daughters to people who we can call spiritual parents.

2. We need to focus on our light, not the darkness in others. Does that seem counter-intuitive to you? Yet if you look back at Ephesians 4:17-5:21 in those 36 verses there are 22 directions that are aimed at “you,” the believer.

   You…

   Control your anger.

       Stop stealing.

   Stop using foul language.

   Encourage others with your talk.

   Do not grieve the Holy Spirit by how you live.

   Forgive as God forgave you.

   Imitate God.

   Live a life of love.

   Be sexually pure.

   Don’t be immoral.

   Don’t be greedy.

   Live as children of the light.

   Be careful how you live.

   Be wise.

   Take advantage of every opportunity.

   Understand what the Lord’s will is.

   Don’t get drunk.

   Be filled with the Spirit.

   Speak Scripture.

   Sing songs.

   Be thankful.

   Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.

   If we are honest with ourselves, if we were to give ourselves to doing these 22 things, we would have precious little time to concern ourselves with “fixing” other people. I have a feeling that was God’s intention! And that leads right to my last point,

3. Through our grace God will bring to light what is not good in others. There is one verse here that talks about dealing with sin in others, Ephesians 5:11 (NIV) Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. In what way are we to “expose them?”

   Let me suggest that the first idea that pops into our minds about how to expose them is often the wrong one—calling them out. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when this is clearly the thing we are to do, and Scripture tells us there are times when it is absolutely necessary too. Jesus wasn’t sinning when He rebuked Peter saying “Get behind me Satan!” Paul did the right thing when he publically called Peter to task for snubbing Gentile Christians in favor of Jewish ones. And Jesus clearly says in Luke 17:3 (NIV), If your brother sins, rebuke him.

   Let me suggest, that calling people out for their sin should be one of the last things we do instead of the first. The reason for this is that when we put ourselves in the position of referee, we can easily go from having a motivation to love and encourage God’s light in them, to a motivation of showing them how dark they are compared to ourselves. That is a place you do not want to go.

   Let God use the light that shines out from you to do the convicting and exposing. It is so much more effective.

   One of the stories that friend and spiritual father Charlie Jones liked to tell, was about a time when he was having a difficult time with his wife Gloria. He was mad. She didn’t listen to him. She was always nagging him. It was at the point where he didn’t feel love for her any more.

   One night, after a long day of sales and travel as he was walking to the bedroom he heard her praying. She was not asking God to change Charlie, she was asking God to help her be a better wife. Then it hit him, or rather God hit him. She wasn’t the problem he was. He was the problem. Charlie broke down and wept. And after an 8 year drought, his love for Gloria came back. Let God do the convicting. You focus on the loving.

What does it mean to be children of the light? It means that we are proof of God’s presence and blessing because our lives are marked by His wisdom, righteousness and grace.

Living as children of the light identifies us as belonging to God and living in His power. When we are living as children of the light, God uses our life to wake people up to their need of a savior. And when we live as children of the light we share God’s love with the people around us.

We nurture that light when our family is not able to by connecting to godly men and women in our church family who can be spiritual parents to us, by focusing on keeping our light bright and clear instead of focusing on the darkness in others, and by letting God use the light that shines out from us to bring to light the need for Jesus’ love and forgiveness in those around us.