Loving like Jesus means Becoming God-Centered and Other Centered

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:1-5, NIV).

God’s grace builds in us both the will and the power to change. The good news is that it does not depend on us, His grace is going to see that through. The only question is are we going to cooperate with His grace? The more we cooperate with God, the better it will be for us and the people we are in relationship with. When Paul says in Philippians 2:13 that God is working in us the desire and power to do what pleases Him, He means two things:

First, it means changing us to have a God-centered attitude instead of a self-centered attitude. When we are God-centered we are submitted to His will; we realize that life does not revolve around us, it revolves around God; our decisions begin to revolve around His will, His purposes, His plans. When we are God-centered we begin to find our self-worth and identity in Him and His love. You start to grow a taste, a love, a joy, a preference for God and His character, and trust His plans for you.

Secondly, it means changing us to have an other-centered attitude instead of a self-centered attitude. Once we are God-centered we begin to become other-centered. Why? Because Jesus is other centered! God begins to open our eyes to the fact that the best happiness, the greatest joy, is in the happiness of others. When we have the attitude of Christ, being God-centered and other-centered, we then start to grow the seven habits that we need if we are going to develop healthy relationships.

We develop humility. Jesus was humble. Humility, remember, is not a sign of weakness. It doesn’t mean you think poorly of yourself. Humility is simply thinking of yourself less and of others more. Humble people are great people to be around. Humble people know that they are no more important in God’s eyes than anyone else. No matter how big or successful or spiritual they are, they make you feel like you are right there with them and that they are right there with you.
We develop compassion. Humility leads you to be compassionate and tender hearted with others. Instead of being mad and critical and judgmental at the sight of people’s faults, failures, and facades, we realize that we are not really any different than they. Instead we are moved to be sympathetic and we are led to empathize with people in their trouble. We hurt that they are hurt.
Working together. Compassion then moves us want to work together. To help each other. To lift each other up and not tear each other down with gossip or back stabbing.
Loving one another. We need to focus on the good in people in situations and look past the bad. If we get lost in arguing over everything we don’t like or don’t agree with we will never go anywhere or do anything. Being right takes second place to being loving and doing what God wants us doing together.
Forgiving. God’s grace doesn’t make us sinless. It forgives it but doesn’t get rid of it. That means we need to be forgiving. He says we need to forgive others just as He has forgiven us. And how is that? God has forgiven us for everything. The most powerful way we can show God’s love to someone is in forgiving them. When you forgive someone, you are seeing that God dealt with that sin at the cross and that Jesus paid the penalty for that sin. Not only do you free the offender in no longer holding them to account for their sin against you, you free yourself and allow God’s grace to heal you of your anger and your hurt.
We develop God grounded confidence. We no longer look to the approval of people for our direction or self-worth. This gives us God-grounded confidence. We no longer need to be afraid of people because we are not living for them, we are living for God.
Servanthood. The attitude of Jesus is most summed up in servanthood. Instead of looking out for self we are looking out for the good of our friend, our spouse, our family, our church. Instead of thinking what can this church do for me, we start to ask what can I do for my church? My family? My community?

So how are you doing? Are you working with the Holy Spirit to grow the attitudes and habits of Jesus? If you are not working to grow that attitude chances are you are not producing those fruits and chances are you are having a hard time building and keeping relationships.

This takes care. It takes effort. It is hard work. It is going to take us out of our comfort zone. It is going to stretch us. Learning to love others as Christ loves us is work, hard work, but it is work that we are all called to do. This is not a “when-we-are-in-church-only” assignment. It is a daily assignment.

So, to be clear, if you are awake and breathing, God wants you working on this. And remember He is working with you. God wants you be excellent in your marriage, in your family, in your relationships with friends, work colleagues, and church family. He’s going to help you get there. Because he has committed to giving you the desire and the power to grow the attitude of Christ.