Soul Cutting

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Last night I got a call from Mandi at work telling me to go home to Anna. the thing I have been watching for (or watching out for hoping it would not come) happened. My daughter Anna cut herself again. For my new readers, this is not accidental you understand. It was deliberate. She had been free from this for the past 14 months. It was a good run. But tonight, the depression and anxiety she struggled with got the upper hand. It’s shaping up to be a busy couple of weeks, and a full throttle start to the new year.

Cutting is a nasty beast, cutting, and far too common. If you want to get into the head of that thinking, listen to the song “Cut” by Plumb.

When I asked her why she felt she needed to go back to that again she said that cutting released endorphins that made you feel happy.

“Well, if it did, that happiness did not last long, did it?” I answered.

She shrugged. But then admitted that she was still sad and felt unsafe.

The reality is that sin is like that too isn’t it? We rationalize sinning saying that it will masked us feel better, give us what we want, or make us happy, or help us forget our problems. Perhaps it seems to for a short bit. But eventually, and much sooner than we would like to admit, we find that the relief was short-lived, the happiness fleeting, and our problems more daunting because of new guilt and shame from our actions. Sin is essentially a spiritual cutting of the soul.

As our love and support for Anna did not change because of her relapse, but rather moved me and her mom to act to protect, help, and serve her; as the Father’s son or daughter, He is no less moved to come close to you and give you the grace, compassion, and help you need when you spiritually cut yourself. You don’t need to worry about turning Him from you. Jesus has already paid for your healing and restoration. His love for you, commitment to you, and grace for you will not waver when your faith wavers. On the contrary, “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out” (Isaiah 42:3, NIV).

 

 

19 Comments

  1. I also used to cut my hands whenever i got problems which i couldn’t solve myself and they hurt me,to avoid being hurt of those silly problems i found out an idea of dividing my pain through cutting my hands,but surely I was wrong.It’s been 3 years now and I have no new mark on my hand and i trust in God on every problems of my life.

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  3. I love your openness about this, and your response to your daughter. It’s wonderful for a pastor to be vulnerable so that people know they are just the same as anyone else. The song, the words of encouragement about our Fathers love for us are all wonderful Thanks for a great post. Prayers coming your way.

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  7. I will be praying for Anna, and for your family. A pastor once said it is a spirit that causes people to start cutting.. He recons it to the man of Gadara, and other ancient writings.. I know docs have their studies on it, but he said to pray over the one afflicted, and cast that spirit out..

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    1. Thank you for your prayers. Sometimes that is true. It can be a spiritual attack. Other times I think the root is psychological in nature. In this case, I think it’s more the latter than the former.

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